Good Girl vs. Bad Girl: Risky Sexual Behaviors
What does it mean to be a "good girl" or "bad girl," and who is making the wiser sexual choices? This was a topic discussed at the Breaking The Silence: Black and Latino Women Taking Care of Ourselves while Building Healthy Relationships with Men conference Saturday, November 6th.
According to Dr. Nina T. Harawa, Professor at Charles Drew University of Medicine and Science, studies demonstrate that risky sexual behaviors exist in both groups. Unfortunately, certain standards are set on how women are "suppose" to act which often ignore the importance of safe sex practices.
These are some of the factors that were demonstrated in determining a "good" & "bad" girl and some of their risky behavior choices.
"Bad Girls"
• Multiple sex partners
• Sex with known "bad boys" (who may be more exposed to STDs)
• Sex while drunk or high (substance abuse)
"Bad Girls" more likely to
• Use condoms with her partners
• Have sex with partner infrequently
• Knows how to use condoms properly
• Gets tested and treatment for HIV/STDs
"Good Girls"
• Fewer sexual partners
• Usually with a good guy or believes or wants everyone else to believe that she is with a "good guy"
• Less likely of substance abuse during sex
"Good Girls" more likely to
• Have unprotected sex
• Repeat unprotected sex with same partner
• Less likely to get tested for HIV/STDS
• Less likely to discuss STD with her partner
• Less likely to insist on condom use with her partner
Unfortunately, society sets norms for both men and women and often categorizes certain people based on their behavior. For instance, when good girls are infected they are seen as victims, while the bad girls are seen as deserving it for their "bad" behavior. Even if not put in the same language similar cases still exist. For example, in Latino families the concept of "la mujer de la casa y la mujer de la calle."
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What I got out of this discussion is that, women need to be more safe and parents need to talk to their children about safe sex.
Tips
• Ladies always have condoms handy (if your partner is not safe, it doesn't mean you don't have to be)
• Get tested at least once a year, but aim for once every 6 months
• Talk to your partner about getting tested, even if you're in a monogamous relationship