How to talk to your kids about vaping: Honest insights from high school students
The story was originally published by Cap Radio with support from our 2024 California Health Equity Fellowship.
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Additional reporting by student reporters Benjamin Lopez, Kay Stout, Matthew Tong, Charynna Torres-Calderon Pe Benito, Rishi Upadhyay, and Rohan Upadhyay.
Editor’s Note: This article is informed through interviews conducted by students. Some students' first names are given during these interviews while others are referred to by their full names, highlighting the interviews’ peer-to-peer nature.
Talking openly about vaping with your child can be uncomfortable, but it's the new reality many parents have to face. Nathan Bagwill, a father of a local Sacramento high school sophomore, found himself in this exact situation.
“It’s definitely awkward," Bagwill admits. "I just kind of went for it... I asked, ‘Are people vaping at your school?’ And my son just casually said, ‘Oh yeah, it’s very common.’"
He says that moment of discomfort led to a necessary dialogue about vaping and its consequences.
Bagwill’s experience highlights the challenge of broaching the subject with teens—especially when vaping has become so normalized in schools and among peer groups. But having these conversations is essential, even if they feel awkward or difficult.
Understanding why teens vape
Teens themselves say peer pressure is a significant factor in why they vape.
"The number one reason that comes to my head is peer pressure. Their friends do it and maybe they want to do it, too," said Angelina Gan, an incoming Cosumnes Oaks High School senior.
Elk Grove High School senior Azriel Hu added, "a lot of teens think it’s cool, or like to impress someone or it's like some kind of fun thing, and they're using it to rebel against their parents or other authorities. Once you get on it, you're kind of addicted."
Antelope High School senior Meredith Gore noted that vaping often becomes a group activity, saying, "It's usually never just one person vaping, it's usually like five people and they're all passing around one, and they're all talking and it's a whole ritual for them."
Recently graduated Folsom High School student Manahil Rehman agreed, adding that even with awareness of vaping’s health risks, peer pressure plays a huge role.
"I think people are aware that it's not good for them,” Rehman said. “The sole reason that they start is being like a social thing, like you want to be part of that group of people."
College student Alex Shumaker mentioned that vaping could also stem from deeper mental health-related struggles.
"A lot of it stems from a broken home life,” Shumaker said. “Drugging yourself never fixes any problem; it only kind of prevents it for a short while, and then it comes back as a greater issue.”
Approaching the conversation: What teens want from parents
When asked how parents should approach the topic of vaping, teens emphasized the importance of open, honest communication.
"Just be real about it, which I think is the best way that parents can go about it," said Aaliyah Campbell, a Sequoia Grove High School senior. She stressed that avoiding the conversation or being vague only leads teens to seek answers elsewhere.
Campbell added, "I feel like if a parent really goes about it just being real and saying here are the outcomes of vaping or this is the health issues that's gonna come with it, and you make your decision, then your child will make a more informed choice."
Gan, a Cosumnes Oaks High School senior, added, "I don’t want one where they're just screaming at me. Because generally when parents do that, I tend to still do what they're telling me not to do if I can’t tell they care and they're just screaming."
Dr. Lena Van Der List, a pediatrician at UC Davis Medical Center, reinforced the teens' views by advocating for an empathetic, education-based approach. She has seen the challenges firsthand in her practice.
"When we can get parents involved and they are supportive but not punitive, those kids tend to be more successful in breaking their nicotine addiction, Dr. Van Der List said.
She stressed that harsh punishment could push teens to hide their habits rather than seek help.
Offering resources and support
Teens suggested that offering support and resources is crucial beyond talking. Gan recommended that parents "give them opportunities to go into programs that could kind of nurture a healthier habit compared to vaping."
Dr. Van Der List echoed these suggestions, emphasizing that education and resources are key to helping teens quit vaping.
"Most teens don't understand how much nicotine they're consuming or the long-term effects it can have on their brains," she said. "Providing them with resources like nicotine replacement therapies and offering supportive environments—both at home and at school—can make a real difference."
Gore, from Antelope High School, emphasized the importance of addressing the root causes. "Kids don’t vape for no reason. They’re obviously going through something, and they need support, not punishment," she said.
Dr. Van Der List has also observed this dynamic in her practice, noting that many teens vape to cope with stress or anxiety. Her suggestion is for parents and schools to focus on the underlying reasons why a student turns towards vaping rather than disciplinary measures that can be made against them.
"Teens need a safe space where they can talk about their struggles without fear of punishment. Only then can we begin to address the root of the issue,” she said.
Teens also want their parents to offer support and guidance beyond just a conversation.
"I would also want help with it. So, not just telling me and then that's it, but maybe steering me towards the right direction. Giving me opportunities to join one of those like mental health organizations or clubs," Gan said.
Rio Americano High School junior Liliana Lettini suggested that schools could enforce more strict measures, explaining, "I would take a more aggressive form of combating that... If a kid doesn't tell where they got the vape, a lot of kids don't like to snitch on people, but a lot of kids also don't like to get suspended."
Shumaker emphasized a supportive, non-punitive approach. "If I got caught doing that sort of thing, it would be more of a loving approach to it where they try and help me out of it instead of trying to keep giving consequences. Parents should be involved in a non-consequential way where they don't get punished for the problem of their addiction."
College sophomore Diego Armona explained how having access to long-term mental health support can make a difference.
"Genuinely knowing the effects that vaping has long-term compared to short-term is important because teens aren't focused on long-term consequences, and that’s why they’re so susceptible,” Armona said.
Tips from teens for parents
- Be Real: Teens want honest conversations where their questions are answered. Many of the students emphasized that being upfront and direct is the best way for parents to communicate.
- Show you care: "I would want something that’s kind of heartfelt," Gan said, explaining that teens respond better when they feel their parents genuinely care.
- Help, don’t punish: "Parents should be involved in a non-consequential way where they don't get punished for their addiction. They get help for their addiction," Shumaker suggested.
- Break the cycle: Bagwill has been transparent with his children about his own experiences with nicotine. "No one really talked to me about it growing up, and so I kind of want to break the cycle," he said.