'Nothing Has Changed in 20 Years': Why Is It Still So Hard for Koreans to Talk About Mental Health?

They were Asian Americans who earned good grades and aimed to attend prestigious universities. But what began with minor crimes eventually led them to murder a friend.

Released in 2002, Better Luck Tomorrow was inspired by a real-life case involving Asian American students in Orange County, California.The film realistically portrays what can lie beneath the image of a successful Asian American student.

It also raised difficult questions for the Asian American community: How could children from seemingly successful, problem-free families end up committing such an extreme act? Were there silent cries for help before the violence? 

DR. GLENN MASUDA | DIRECTOR, ASIAN PACIFIC FAMILY CENTER:

“One of the first things I noticed while watching the film was that there were almost no adults,
except for one teacher. The parents were financially successful, but they were not present in their children’s lives.”

When Dr. Masuda showed the film to Asian American parents, in many cases, they denied the truth of the story before considering what the film was trying to say.

DR. GLENN MASUDA | DIRECTOR, ASIAN PACIFIC FAMILY CENTER:

“The parents’ reaction at the time was, ‘That never happened.’ So we had to show them newspaper articles. Then they said, ‘Why would they make a film like this, bring shame to our community, and make us look bad?’”

Then last year, more than twenty years after the film’s release, Dr. Masuda showed the film to another group of Asian American parents to see whether their attitudes had changed. 

DR. GLENN MASUDA | DIRECTOR, ASIAN PACIFIC FAMILY CENTER:

“The reaction was exactly the same. ‘That never happened.’ ‘Why would they make a film like this and make us look bad?’
‘We can never show this to our children because it could give them bad ideas.’ It was the same even twenty years later.”

THE SAME ANSWER, TWENTY YEARS LATER
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The crime depicted in the film was extreme but so was the parents’ response to the story. Dr. Masuda has studied the stigma around mental health that possibly underpins both.

When something emerges that conflicts with the image of a successful Korean family, the community is often quick to reject it. They can be more concerned that acknowledging the problem could bring shame to the family, damage the community’s image, or expose private struggles than they are with examining the facts.

Over the past several months, our reporting team has covered generational conflict, suicide, homelessness, addiction and isolation among older adults in the Korean American community.

And across all these topics we’ve found a similar pattern. People feared that revealing a problem would damage the image of their family or community, so rather than asking for help, they tried to hide it.

According to a federal survey data published in 2025, among Asian American adults who reported experiencing a depressive episode, 48% received treatment compared with 64% of adults overall.

It was not that there was no problem. The difficulty was speaking about it in the first place.

Why is asking for help so difficult among the Korean Community?

CHAPTER 1: THE FEAR THAT BEGINS BEFORE SPEAKING

At a recent mental health event for Korean Americans, experts explained that depression, anxiety and family conflict are health issues that can affect anyone. But when Korean Americans experience these problems themselves, many hesitate to talk about them or actively try to hide them. 

YOUNG CHOI | COMMUNITY HEALTH WORKER, PROMOTORES PROGRAM, LA COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF MENTAL HEALTH:

“Many people believe that talking about mental health difficulties means revealing their own weakness. They worry that a weakness in themselves or their family could interfere with future success or cause other people to point fingers at them.”

In particular, the belief that one person’s difficulties could affect how the entire family is viewed
makes that fear even greater.

DR. SOYOUNG SUNG | CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST:

“In the West, a person may think, ‘I am an individual.’ But Koreans may think, ‘I also represent my family, and I also represent my church.’

Because of this collective tendency and the way our culture shapes our thinking, when a problem arises, people seem more likely to endure it in silence rather than express it and ask for help.” 

As help continues to be delayed, the problem can expand into family relationships, work, school and everyday life.

CHAPTER 2. WHEN SILENCE APPEARS IN ANOTHER FORM

Emotional pain does not disappear when it goes unspoken. It only continues to build up inside.

DR. SOYOUNG SUNG | CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST:

“Let’s think of experiencing an emotion as if we have taken something in. When we eat food, it has to be digested. In the same way, emotions are not automatically processed and resolved by the brain. Through language and through speech, we have to accurately label our emotions.”

Pain that is not processed in this way can appear in other forms.

DR. SOYOUNG SUNG | CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST:

“When people do not do that, somatization is very common among Asians, and especially among Koreans. As a result, people may experience stress-related stomach pain, headaches, difficulty sleeping, digestive problems and many other physical symptoms.”

These changes can also affect relationships. People may become overly sensitive to what others say, assume that others have negative intentions or distance themselves from those closest to them.

STIGMA: Viewing a mental health problem as a personal or family defect.

STOICISM: Believing that suffering should not be discussed and must be endured alone.

STEREOTYPES: Believing that serious problems do not exist in successful Asian American families.

Dr. Masuda says these factors can delay the resolution of a problem.

DR. GLENN MASUDA | DIRECTOR, ASIAN PACIFIC FAMILY CENTER:

“Stoicism itself is not the problem. But it becomes a problem when it is taken too far. You may completely exhaust yourself or ignore the problem until it is too late.”

Silence does not solve the problem. It only delays the moment when help can begin.

CHAPTER 3. WHO ENTERS THE SUPPORT SYSTEM?

KATHERINE YEOM | EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, KOREAN AMERICAN FAMILY SERVICES:

“Last year, approximately 300 people received mental health services. Since the pandemic, the number has continued to rise. It has now doubled. I think many people are beginning to recognize that mental health services are not only for people with serious problems, and that mental health challenges are something anyone can experience.”

But honestly sharing one’s pain with another person is still not easy.

CHAPTER 4. WHAT MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO SPEAK?

Recently, AI may also be able to help.

JUNGKYUN CHOI | CEO, CANDID SPACE:

“When we share our problems with family members, we may cause them to worry. With friends, it may become a burden, and what we share could someday come back to be used as a weakness against us. There are so many things we do not know when first trying to access professional counseling. We do not know whom to find or how to find them, how much it will cost or whether insurance will cover it. There are many limitations on our choices.”

AI can help users begin sharing personal experiences at their own pace and lower the first barrier. but it cannot replace professional assessment and treatment.

JUNGKYUN CHOI | CEO, CANDID SPACE

“If someone is experiencing hallucinations or delusions, or poses a risk of harming themselves or others, I believe it is better to seek professional counseling or see a medical specialist
rather than use an AI-based service.”

When professional help is needed, it is better to use a professional support system.

More than twenty years ago, parents who watched Better Luck Tomorrow either denied what had happened or worried about the shame it could bring to their community. Last year, Dr. Masuda heard the same response. The tendency to deny and hide these problems still remains.

And that silence can delay people from getting the help they need.

DR. GLENN MASUDA | DIRECTOR, ASIAN PACIFIC FAMILY CENTER:

“We need to do a better job of giving people permission to speak freely.”

Creating a space where people feel able to speak is not the responsibility of the individual alone. Families and communities must also create an environment where people feel comfortable speaking and listening.

It is okay to speak.